A Long Overdue Throwout!!!
Well shit,
It has been a while. I miss my readers.
S#!t Storm
I have been living in Jen's guest suite for two months now. Some how every time I find a place I want it is suddenly "off the market" within hours of me showing interest. I think maybe my BFF could be playing a part in this, but I don't want to read too much into it. I am fine where I am at, and I think she likes having me here.
On days like today I enjoy it the most. Jen has a full gym in her lower level, which is ironic because I don't think I have ever seen her use it. I do though.
Today I have the music cranked and Thirty seconds to Mars "Up In The Air" pumping through the speakers on repeat. Moving as much of the equipment as I can, I dance. Dancing is the one physical exercise I do that doesn't actually FEEL like exercise to me. In my youth I took every form of dance I could, even becoming the captain of the dance line in high school. You would think that I would be skinnier with as much as I love to dance, but alas, muscular legs and thighs are a dancers curse. Even though my curves are a part of who I am, does not make me any less self conscious of them.
When this song came out I made it my mantra. I even got the words Today, Today, Today tattooed on my calf along with a phoenix rising from the ashes to represent the song and its parallels to my own life. Today as I kick and leap through the studio, watching myself in the mirror, I feel the weight of all my recent stresses melt form my body. I twirl a hula hoop strategically around my body, focusing on coordinating my movements with the rotating band and keeping them as fluid as possible. The joy within me bubbles to the surface as I sing at the top of my lungs, badly, to the song that has helped me past so many difficult times.
I launch into a series of fouette turns as the song reaches its crescendo for about the fifth time. The burn in my legs and core makes me smile. Dance is one of the few things I do, that when I am doing it, I don't want to be doing anything else. With one last fouette releve I slide to the floor stretching my hands out far behind me into the air. My chest is heaving and I focus on catching my breath,waiting for the burn of the last stretch to subside before rolling onto my back and closing my eyes. Just as my anthem starts over, the familiar opening bars are interrupted by the staccato of a slow clap, that seems to be getting louder, approaching me. I open my eyes expecting to see Jen or maybe even Odin, but instead I see a familiar set of hunter green orbs shining down on me.
Flinching to a seated position I take him in. It has been three and a half months since Jake signed the papers buying my grandmothers home from me, four since that one kiss. The kiss that reminded me that love is gentile, and kind, and completely and totally unpredictable. I haven't seen him since that day. All of the property business was handle between Jen and my Lawyers. I just told her to make it work out in both mine and Jake's favor, and left the rest to her. She didn't disappoint. However, it does not mean I have not spent every day thinking about him since I flew back to Ohio to pack my things.
All I can do is stare as he extends his hand to me. A sly grin breaking across his face. I reach up and take the proffered leverage and Jake easily pulls me to my feet. His proximity sends my head into a spin as I catch a whiff of his musky cologne. My hand shoots out to brace myself against his chest as he slides his hand to my waist in response. I curve against his hard body and gasp as he wraps his strong arms around me.
"That was amazing." With my head tucked under his chin I can feel every vibration of is voice straight down to my toes. I smile to myself relishing the comfort his embrace brings me. Taking a step back I sheepishly look up at him. I can't imagine what he saw, but what was happening was an unadulterated release of emotion. When I dance I let go, and I am embarrassed to know he just saw me with my soul completely exposed.
"How long have you been watching?" I ask, unsure if I want to know he answer.
"Long enough to wish I had shown up sooner." His eyes trace my features and I am overcome with the knowledge that I am a sweaty mess right now. I try to step back further, but his arms tighten around me. "That was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen." He whispers, pressing a kiss into my damp hair.
I think I just died.
It has been a while. I miss my readers.
S#!t Storm
I have been living in Jen's guest suite for two months now. Some how every time I find a place I want it is suddenly "off the market" within hours of me showing interest. I think maybe my BFF could be playing a part in this, but I don't want to read too much into it. I am fine where I am at, and I think she likes having me here.
On days like today I enjoy it the most. Jen has a full gym in her lower level, which is ironic because I don't think I have ever seen her use it. I do though.
Today I have the music cranked and Thirty seconds to Mars "Up In The Air" pumping through the speakers on repeat. Moving as much of the equipment as I can, I dance. Dancing is the one physical exercise I do that doesn't actually FEEL like exercise to me. In my youth I took every form of dance I could, even becoming the captain of the dance line in high school. You would think that I would be skinnier with as much as I love to dance, but alas, muscular legs and thighs are a dancers curse. Even though my curves are a part of who I am, does not make me any less self conscious of them.
When this song came out I made it my mantra. I even got the words Today, Today, Today tattooed on my calf along with a phoenix rising from the ashes to represent the song and its parallels to my own life. Today as I kick and leap through the studio, watching myself in the mirror, I feel the weight of all my recent stresses melt form my body. I twirl a hula hoop strategically around my body, focusing on coordinating my movements with the rotating band and keeping them as fluid as possible. The joy within me bubbles to the surface as I sing at the top of my lungs, badly, to the song that has helped me past so many difficult times.
I launch into a series of fouette turns as the song reaches its crescendo for about the fifth time. The burn in my legs and core makes me smile. Dance is one of the few things I do, that when I am doing it, I don't want to be doing anything else. With one last fouette releve I slide to the floor stretching my hands out far behind me into the air. My chest is heaving and I focus on catching my breath,waiting for the burn of the last stretch to subside before rolling onto my back and closing my eyes. Just as my anthem starts over, the familiar opening bars are interrupted by the staccato of a slow clap, that seems to be getting louder, approaching me. I open my eyes expecting to see Jen or maybe even Odin, but instead I see a familiar set of hunter green orbs shining down on me.
Flinching to a seated position I take him in. It has been three and a half months since Jake signed the papers buying my grandmothers home from me, four since that one kiss. The kiss that reminded me that love is gentile, and kind, and completely and totally unpredictable. I haven't seen him since that day. All of the property business was handle between Jen and my Lawyers. I just told her to make it work out in both mine and Jake's favor, and left the rest to her. She didn't disappoint. However, it does not mean I have not spent every day thinking about him since I flew back to Ohio to pack my things.
All I can do is stare as he extends his hand to me. A sly grin breaking across his face. I reach up and take the proffered leverage and Jake easily pulls me to my feet. His proximity sends my head into a spin as I catch a whiff of his musky cologne. My hand shoots out to brace myself against his chest as he slides his hand to my waist in response. I curve against his hard body and gasp as he wraps his strong arms around me.
"That was amazing." With my head tucked under his chin I can feel every vibration of is voice straight down to my toes. I smile to myself relishing the comfort his embrace brings me. Taking a step back I sheepishly look up at him. I can't imagine what he saw, but what was happening was an unadulterated release of emotion. When I dance I let go, and I am embarrassed to know he just saw me with my soul completely exposed.
"How long have you been watching?" I ask, unsure if I want to know he answer.
"Long enough to wish I had shown up sooner." His eyes trace my features and I am overcome with the knowledge that I am a sweaty mess right now. I try to step back further, but his arms tighten around me. "That was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen." He whispers, pressing a kiss into my damp hair.
I think I just died.
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