With a little help from my friends Thursday throw out

So I was given a some constructive criticism from a beta who's opinion I value greatly. She was not a fan of my original prologue for one of my books. I redid it with the suggestions she gave me. After several drafts, trying out different concepts, I finally had something I thought was acceptable. Unfortunately, I am still in love with my first idea.

This is where you come in! Tonight I am posting both prologues for said book. I want to put it to a vote. If you could please read both versions posted below. Then, either leave the coinciding letter in the comments below or on the Facebook post that brought you to this page. You may also leave any comments or critique you may have below. The comments are not published unless I approve them, so if you would rather them not be visible please specify.

Here We GO!!!!!

A

Two years prior

            I climb into the limousine that the funeral home provides for the grieving family, and let the driver close the door behind me. I stare out the window, watching the cemetery keeper scoop shovels full of dirt onto my precious grandmother’s casket. Unable to contain my grief any longer I start to wail.

                Within the past six months, I have buried my stepbrother, and now my grandmother. The two people I cared for most in the world. At this point, all I want is for someone to hold me while I cry, knowing there is nothing further to be done. However, my boyfriend is back in Chicago and was unable to be here today.

                The driver pulls up to Grandmother’s palatial estate and I get out. I hand him a twenty-dollar bill and thank him for his services. He nods and thanks me before retreating to the car and pulling away. I watch him turn out of the driveway unable to move. I cannot bring myself to turn and look at the home that has been my refuge for so long.

                I put the estate up for sale and hold an auction, knowing that there are few things in the home that I can bring with me to my new condo. I end up with a few pieces of furniture, and a box full of pictures and important documents. In all, I made fifteen million from the sale, but I am not interested in the money. I put it into the trust I am using to fund my restaurant.

My mind drifts back to the catering that I worked the night before. The young soldier that had returned to be at his sister’s wedding. The harsh reception he got from her. My eyes start to tear again, he reminded me so much of A.J. The overwhelming feeling that I needed to take care of him consumes me. How could you be so cold to someone who gave so much to defend our country? I remember the bandages on his neck, wanting to comfort him, but it was not my place.

                John pulls up with the moving van, and I help him load my items inside. I don’t look back at the house, knowing I would not be able to contain my tears. He was right in convincing me to sell the house. There is more space than I could ever want here, and more memories than I care to deal with. I was happy that a second cousin purchased it to keep it in the family. My grandmother was born here, and her father before that. As much as I loved this place, it was time to move on.

                John rubs my leg, patting my knee in comfort. He bought several items from the house to use in his art galleries as display pieces. It did not feel right selling the items to him, but he insisted on paying for them. John had been my rock over the past several weeks. In my mind, giving him a few things was the least I could do.

            John drops me at the front door and drives around to the service elevator. I greet the doorman and make my way upstairs. I know I should be excited about this new chapter of my life, but at the moment everything feels bittersweet. Opening the door to my condo, I smile at the new kitchen island. I had it custom made with a one foot thick piece of chopping block, and seasoned with sesame and saffron oil. My grandmother would have deemed this a frivolous purchase at three thousand dollars. To me, this is the one thing that was well worth the money.

            John Reaches the door with the dolly full of boxes from the estate. I start to sort through them, placing the one with my mother’s crystal goblets on the kitchen counter. I look at my glass front cabinets, trying to decide where I should put the precious items. I drag a stool to the edge of the granite. Climbing up onto the cold surface, I open the top door and start to slide the stemware in one by one. 

B 

A heavy red door slams behind me as the officer’s escort me to my seat. I take quick short steps, hindered by my ankle restraints. The reasoning behind the spectacle fails me. I have been in the minimum-security cellblock for months now. Doing the accounting for the warden has scored me major brownie points with the staff here. Directed to a booth on the end, I sit. I was not expecting a visitor today. A feeling of foreboding floods through my system. Maybe it is my lawyer coming to tell me my parole was revoked at the last minute. God I hope not. I do not think I can handle another minute in this hellhole.

The door to the visitors’ room opens and I see a man with a business suit walking toward my corner. He is about six feet tall, with strawberry blonde hair and a shit-eating grin on his face. I get a flash of déjà vu from him, seeing his smug smile somewhere in the recesses of my memory. He pulls out the chair and sits, crossing his legs casually he regards me. I motion towards the receiver on the wall and he leans in to pick it up.

“Who the hell are you?” I deadpan. I already hate this guy.

“Mr. Baker, Jack, I was hoping you would remember me. I am Brad Tucker, a friend of Brady, your son.”

“And.” I say confused.

“Oh, well I heard you may be getting out soon.” He says. This kid is starting to wear on my nerves. He looks almost scared to talk to me.

“Look kid, get to the point. Watching you squirm is getting old real quick.” I seriously wish I could punch him.

“Yes sir. Well, the thing is, I work with Israel Hunter. I am the business manager at her restaurant, and I believe this gives us a similar interest.” He looks at me expectantly.

A shiver runs down my spine. I have spent the last twenty years trying to forget that little bitch. Here comes this joker, throwing her name in my face. How could I want anything to do with her? She is the one that landed me in this joint. She turned my own son against me, and took all of my money.  My face heats with the anger I can feel welling from my stomach.  I grip the receiver so hard I can see my knuckles whiten. I am done here.

“This conversation is over, kid. Now take your pretty boy ass back to where ever it is that you came from. If I ever see your face again, I will have my son rearrange it for you.” I growl into the phone. I watch the kid blanch, looking as if he is going to piss himself. I move to hang up the phone when he slams his hand against the glass. Startled, I turn back, bringing the receiver back to my ear.

“I have access to her trust fund.” He states stoically. “I want nothing more than to take that bitch for all that she has. Her boyfriend too. In case you did not know, she is dating the CFO of Medmobile. I think, between the two of them, they are worth a cool billion dollars. If you ask me, that is way more than either of them need.” He gives me a sly smirk.

Is this kid for real? I am not even out of the hoosegow yet and he is already plotting my one-way ticket back in. I cannot even believe what I am hearing right now. I narrow my eyes at him and watch him squirm for a second before replying to his unanswered question.

“I don’t know what you are trying to pull, but this feels a lot like a setup to me. Tell whoever sent you that I want no part of this. I have done all the time I am willing to do.” I hang up the receiver and stand, waiting for the officer to come and retrieve me as I shuffle towards the exit. I have two weeks left here. My sons promised me they would help me disappear once I am out. Fuck this guy, and his smug smile.

 Thanks for reading this far. Now if you would please be so kind as to vote for your favorite I would appreciate it.  and come back next week to see which version won :)