Thursday throwout

No pomp, just S#!t Storm


Storm 

“Storm.” 

The honey voice I hadn’t heard in months surrounds me in its embrace. My eyes fall shut, and I draw in a deep breath, pausing mid step toward the firms entrance. Jackie, the receptionist from the publicity department, who I just ate lunch with, stops and looks between the barer of the voice and me. Her eyes widen when they fall on him, and her cheeks flush. 

“Uhhh, I will see you later Storm.” She says, as she skitters through the doors, but not so fast, that she does not take another glance at Jax, who I can now feel just steps away from me. 
  
Traitor.

I exhale and turn slowly to face him. My eyes trained to the sidewalk. I have done everything in my power to avoid him over the past six months. Up until this point, I had been successful. 

“Hello, Jax.” My voice is quiet and pathetic. It was one night Storm. Get a grip. 

He takes a step closer, and I can see his beaten up engineer boots in my line of sight. A second step, and he is in my personal space. I feel the electricity again. My body reflexively takes a step back, away from the unwanted feeling of uneasiness. That spark between us that I spent so much time pining for, now floods my senses with caution, and I want to flee.  

“How are you?” He asks quietly, as if he knows I want to bolt. 

“Fine, busy, I am actually on the way to a meeting.” I lie, throwing a thumb over my shoulder toward the firm. I still have not looked at him. 

“Oh, sorry. Maybe we can get together for a drink later...catch up? I think I still have your number in my phone.” 

Goosebumps rise over my skin. Why in god’s name would he save my number? I think the last time we saw each other was bad enough. I cannot shake the look he gave me as he sat there, eating breakfast with her. Just hours after he left my bed. I don’t hate him, never have, but I make irrational decisions when it comes to him. I need to keep my distance. 

“I don’t think that would be a good idea Jax.” Finally chancing a glance into those beautiful hazel eyes, I regret that decision instantly. 

“Surely a drink with an old friend isn’t too much to ask. I miss you, Storm.” 

I scoff at his attempt at sentiment. How dare him. I know they say what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas, but I warned him. I am not the girl that separates love and sex. Never, before him, did I ever do anything like that. My heart and mind have been at war ever since I flew out that day. 

He was never yours to love. He was only after what you so willingly gave him. He never felt anything for you. You were just a warm body to fill the empty spot in his bed until she showed up. Just because you got along, did not mean he actually liked you. You were just another girl. How many were before? How many after? 

Jax must see the war going on in my head written plain across my face. He takes a step closer, reaching for my wrist. I jerk my arm away. I can’t let him touch me. Even with Jen’s best intentions to keep news of Jax from reaching me, I knew the wedding was in just a couple weeks. The thought makes my stomach lurch to my throat. 

“I am sorry Storm, I never meant to hurt you. If I would have known..” He swallows, looking away. “Can I at least apologize. Let me treat you to dinner to grovel for your forgiveness. If after that, you still don’t want to see me again. I will stay away.” 

“No.”  Jax’s head ticks back like my answer slapped him.“I have spent my life caring far too much for people who don’t think twice about me. You made your choice Jax.” 

“But, Storm.” I throw my hand up to stop him from whatever bottled response he thinks he is going to give me. 

“No, Jax. I will not spend another second of my life being an afterthought. I am no one’s fallback rut. From now on, all the people who only think of me when they need something, or call me when it is convenient, can just walk. How am I supposed to love myself, when the only love I receive is left over form who they really care about. I might be unremarkable, I might be plain, but I am not unlovable.” 

Jax silently regards me, giving me a single nod, then turns away.