An open letter to my Wenches

The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.—Lao Tzu

I climbed into my car, signed the cross, and prayed that she made it the four hundred miles I required of her. She started, just as she always does. With a teary glance toward my weeping child standing in the doorway, I throw my beater in reverse and drive out of my little world.

Six hours. 

Six hours of driving, over analyzing, singing, badly. What had I gotten myself into.  I am driving to a different state to meet with five women I had met on the Internet. Seriously, this is how some horror movies start.

The only person who cared enough to ask for an address and phone number to where I was going was a nine-month pregnant co-worker. The sadness of this is not lost on me. I fight off the bout of depression that claws at my chest and press forward. No, this trip is exactly what I need to move on.

It is quite possible that my emotionally damaged heart has formed an attachment to these people out of pure necessity. It would not be the first time I found a person I thought I could confide in, only to have them walk away from me for being too damaged. Needless to say, climbing out onto that Wisconsin street was the scariest thing I had done in years.

There is a moment when you meet a person and it feels like home. As if, you have been missing a piece of yourself your whole life, and all of a sudden, they show up. The right place, the right time, they are exactly what you need at that moment. The second this perfect little human jumped out of her giant SUV, for the first time in months I felt whole.

Acceptance. Five women who barely know me accepted me with open arms. I was like I had known them my whole life we all hugged and giggled like a bunch of teenage girls. We all fell into each other and just clicked. My anxiety over whether or not this bunch of women would want to be around someone like me crumbled in a matter of minutes. They didn’t look at me in disgust, they didn’t judge me for my past or my present, they just accepted me at face value. I love  them for it.

Everywhere  we went together we were like magnets.  People were drawn to us. We radiated an energy that was like a moth to a flame for all those who encountered us.  I can’t even describe the feeling of awe I experienced with our small band of wenches.  

Now, I know you are likely expecting a flowery description of each one of my partners in crime, but I digress. I am a people watcher, I take in the entire experience.  It is hard for me to narrow down one specific aspect of a human soul that draws me in like gravity. The only thing I know is that they all had it. Every. Single. One.

I admit that I reigned myself in. I had to. Not out of shyness, all who know me well know that the last adjective a person would use to describe me. I may have been afraid of being rejected, or possibly asked to leave. I would have been crushed if that were the case. However these ladies were far too classy to do any such thing. I thank you all deeply for that.

Five days of more freedom and happiness than I have experienced in a long time. Ladies the gaping hole that is my heart closed, if only for a little while, and I only have you to thank for it. I hope that when you think of me you smile, because I do every time I think of you.

  Thank you for letting me be a Wench.

Love

Star