Writers block Throwout

March 05, 2015

Hi all,
Another week gone by. I have done some writing but not enough to form a throw out. So this week I am bringing you a scene from a book I am proofing before sending it to beta. It has been a while since I have put excerpts of Scarred up, so hopefully it piques your interest. This will be far better than the crap I have been penning this week. Although, if there were a Jared Leto fan fiction sight, I could make some money there. Jeezus I am a sad sad girl.

Anyhoo, since I value the opinions of my readers. I would love if you could give feedback on this scene. I understand that giving an opinion can be daunting, or off putting but it can be left anonymously so you don't need to worry about upsetting me. After all, I asked for it right.

I am worried about this scene in particular because of the subject matter. The novel itself has a couple scenes of this nature and I want to know if this would make you walk away from the story. It is choppy because it is written from the perspective of a child.

Please and thank you in advance.

Scarred

I scramble for a hiding spot because I can hear him coming down the hall. He discovered my loose vent that led to the boy’s room two nights ago, now its nailed shut on both sides. Jamison told him that I had been coming into their room at night and sleeping on A.J’s trundle bed.

Jameson does not like me.

Brady moved in with his mom two months ago.

I wish I could be with my mom.

Mommy is in heaven now.

I hear the door unlock and the tears start to stream. He does not like it when I cry. I try to cry quietly so he does not get mad. I cover myself with blankets in the closet. I hope he does not check in here. The door opens and he pulls the blankets away. He looks mad, but he smiles at me. He grabs me by my arm and brings me to the bed.

Why does he need to see me without my nightgown? He says that I am beautiful. He says I look like my mom. Mommy is in heaven now so I have to be a big girl and take care of daddy. He is not my daddy. My daddy was a nice man. He touches my body. His hands are sweaty, it feels gross. His hands are rough and they hurt me.

I am crying now. He is mad. He does not want A.J to hear me.

A.J is my only friend.

He is hurting me. I do not like the way he touches me. I do not like to touch him. He makes me touch it. It feels weird. Did he make mommy do this?

I miss mommy.

My bottom hurts and my back is wet. He throws my nightgown at me. He locks the door when he leaves. He said I am just like my mommy. He said I am a good girl.